Gigi, Lifestyle, Mental Health

What Happens to a Dream Deferred?

Hey GIT Girls!

You should know that things in my life aren’t going the way I’d hoped right now. We all have dreams and make plans in an attempt to fill our lives with meaning and direction.

But when those plans fall through, we can be left with regret, despair, anger, etc.

What happens when your dreams are cancelled? - The GIT Girl Mag

And it’s one of the most difficult things in the world to accept a failed dream. It can throw your life off its axis, leaving you reeling in space.

 And if you’re not careful, you may never find your way back.

A Dream Deferred by Langston Hughes - The GIT Girl Mag

Truthfully, it has taken me about 5 years to find my way back to earth.

You see, like most of you, I bought into the belief of the whole American Dream thing. The Dream goes a little something like this:

American Dream Checklist - The GIT Girl Mag


Relationship Goals, anyone?

Relationship Goals? - The GIT Girl Mag

The dream we are sold tells us that if you work hard anything is yours for the taking. But as you know, life is way more complicated than that. You find that there are major setbacks, disappointments, and sadness. We lose loved ones and entire dreams can be seemingly obliterated overnight. It can be traumatic and devastating.

So I find myself here; a 30-something woman with 1 failed marriage and a little girl to raise alone. This is, in fact, everything I did NOT for my life.

Your dream has been deferred - The GIT Girl Mag


And for a while, I mentally threw in the towel. Life wasn’t worth living without living my dream.

But here’s the secret about dreams: You Can Always Dream a New Dream.

They aren’t finite. They are malleable and renewable. You and I are not beholden to achieving our dreams the way they were first envisioned.

More to dream - The GIT Girl Mag

I’ve had a specific dream that I’ve held onto for several years. I thought he was my soulmate. This dream was so strong and so important to me that I didn’t allow myself to dream of anything else.

You hear me, right? I didn’t ALLOW myself to even want anything else. That’s key.

Very recently, I’ve had to accept that this dream will go unfulfilled. It is painful. And my first reaction was to wrap myself in a tight ball and despair.

Despair - The GIT Girl Mag

About 12 minutes into my fetal position pity party, I smacked myself. Yes, I really did that.

I smacked myself and forced myself to remember the secret: You Can Always Dream a New Dream. I don’t want to dream a new dream. That’s the truth. But the fastest way to be unhappy is to refuse to change.

To survive, you must adapt.

Adapt to survive - The GIT Girl Mag

So I must dream a new dream now. And although tears stream down my cheeks as I write this, I am brave enough, strong enough to believe there’s another dream out there for me.

And there’s another dream or two out there for you too. I promise.

Always a new dream - The GIT Girl Mag

I’ll let you know how my dream search goes, and I hope to hear your progress too.

Until then…get it together girl!

Gigi xo

Gigi Nicole - The GIT Girl

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